gary delaney one liners 2019

Shouldve been called Look Whos Hawking, thats my only criticism James Acaster, Ive written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldnt fit it into my set.Masai Graham, I wanted to do a show about feminism. 1992. Badness by Gary Jubelin . 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes His gags often appear on Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe lists; in fact he's the only comedian to ever. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you cant have your kayak and heat it. Body like a Greek statue completely pale, no arms. Phil Wang, If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been Its round. And dont apologise, ever. 1.4M views, 9.6K likes, 306 loves, 931 comments, 3.1K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gary Delaney: This Summer I recorded two old tour shows LIVE at Hot Water Comedy Club in Liverpool. Because you can see right through them! I failed math so many times at school,. What a sad state of affairs. Paul Savage (2017), Im very conflicted by eye tests. Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep! . Gary Delaney returns to the road with another onslaught of lean, expertly crafted witticisms in his new tour, Gagster's Paradise. They dont techno for an answer. Joel Dommett, I used to go out with a giraffe. Using this website means you are okay with this but you can find out more and learn how to manage your cookie choices. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. She was wearing massive gloves. Alun Cochrane, As a kid I was made to walk the plank. JUN 27 2020 Funhouse Comedy Club 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. I find them quite re-markable. Gary Delaney | Ruthless One Liners Hot Water Comedy Club 184K subscribers Join 6.5K 566K views 11 months ago Hot Water Comedy All Stars is now on a UK tour coming to a city near you -. If you get easily offeneded or need a safe space, these dirty jokes are definitely not for you! I always prefer being live on stage, he says. One says: How do you drive this thing? I think the hardest part of making skimmed milk must be throwing the cows across the lake. I hope he likes them. All rights reserved. There have, however, been some unlucky losers. My first special 'Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013' is available for free to everyone on my mailing list. 50 of the best lines from Peep Show I'm raising money for the Mind charity here -. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Always listen to the audience, they ultimately decide what is funny and they will tell you who you are, and what you should be saying., Gary Delaney plays the Cornerstone Didcot on Saturday. Um, well How to use the cold weather payment postcode checker, and when the 25 is paid, Warning freezing temperatures could be 'deadly' as conditions from asthma to dehydration worsen, We can praise Maya Jama without insulting Laura Whitmore, Robert Jenrick backs calls to strip serial rapist David Carrick of his Met Police pension, Ken Bruce promises golden oldies at Greatest Hits Radio after row over Radio 2 axing classics, Jacob Rees-Mogg's bonfire of EU laws is a vanity project that even Brexiteers want rid of, Why top BBC stars like Ken Bruce are quitting for rival media companies, Nursing chief apologises for strikes but says 'we are desperately trying to save the NHS', The BBC has stopped caring about radio Ken Bruce is the price, How to listen to Greatest Hits Radio on FM and DAB, and when Ken Bruce starts, Do not sell or share my personal information. To the moo-vies! I went to the doctors the other day and he said: Go to Bournemouth, its great for flu. So I went and I got it. Some of his memorable moments in comedy include when he went on a tour in the UK in 2003, in support of Jerry Sadowitz. Thats how small my penis is. Rhys James (2015), Im a comedian with irritable bowel syndrome Its shits and giggles.Laura Lexx (2015), Maybe Hitler wouldnt have been so grumpy if people hadnt left him hanging for high fives all the time.Rhys James (2015), Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my doors always open.Paul F. Taylor (2016), If you dont know what Morris dancing is, imagine eight guys from the KKK got lost, ended up at gay pride and just tried to style it out. Fin Taylor (2016), Hedgehogs why cant they just share the hedge? Dan Antolpolski (2009), I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning Are we then yet? Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos - http://bit.ly/2vBzt2f Ticket for all shows - www.hotwatercomedy.co.uk | By LIVE at Hot Water Comedy Club | Facebook Log In Forgot Account? Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners none. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes It was my turn to walk him, and as I was leaving the house my wife reminded me: Dont forget poobags?. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? . However, the best joke writer in the world right now is Anthony Jeselnik in the States.. 2. Wouldnt it just be easier to talk to a woman? Stephen Brown (2008), If you arrive fashionably late in Crocs, youre just late. Joel Dommett(2014), I cant exercise for long periods. Now I can ride a motorbike, hows that going to help? Eric Lampaert. 28th March 2019. What has ears but cannot hear? If you do gags, you live and die by their quality, so you have to make them good. 49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes Apparently Dance like no one is watching doesnt mean With your cock out. black stuff coming out of praying mantis; r404a refrigerant properties table; school of the spirit apostle joshua selman; it ends with us quiz answers If it were on Radio 4, she should have said Dont forget the poobags. The President of France said this week that English speakers were arrogant in their refusal to learn other languages, at least I think thats what he said. Sorry, something's gone wrong. A man entered a local papers pun contest. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners Thursday 3rdNovember 2022, 5 things about the Eco-dining initiative at Canary Wharf to tackle food waste, 5 things about the Islander Festival at London City Island Saturday 23rd July. An investigator! Review: Gary Delaney, Theatre Royal Winchester . I thought it was quite a clever title, but quite a few times Ive turned up at venues and seen that my posters have been have graffitied to say Ginsters Paradise instead. Contents 1 Early life 2 Career 3 Personal life 4 References 5 External links Early life [ edit] All rights reserved. I said: Are you two an item?. November 2019 (5) October 2019 (6) September 2019 (5) August 2019 (5) July 2019 (6) June 2019 (4) May . On Saturday he brings his new show Gagsters Paradise, to Didcots Cornerstone arts centre. If your homing pigeon doesnt come back, then what youve lost is a pigeon.Sara Pascoe(2014), My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Enjoy reading!! Ironically, thats how he lost his job in disaster relief.Mark Watson (2014), I really wish ISIS would stop playing violent video games and listening to Marilyn Manson. Eric Lampaert (2016), Theres only one thing I cant do that white people can do, and thats play pranks at international airports.Nish Kumar (2014), How do people make new mates? What do you call an alligator in a vest? Age One Liners. Although it does involve a lot of Angry Birds. On a snow day, news is weather is travel. Michael McIntyre, Heres a picture of me with REM. There was only one dog in it. If you are dissatisfied with the response provided you can Was it something I said? asks the son. Turnips with Tomas Lidakevicius launches Fight the system, 5 things about the Leicester Comedy Festival (8th 26th February), 5 things about Australian vocalist Jo Lawry, Five things about the Venice Film Festival Revisits London 3 5 February, Curzon Soho, The 5 days of Play-mas according to real-life UK clown Em Stroud to help banish SAD this winter, 5 Permits You Need Before Starting A New Building Project, 5 things to do today by English actress and voice actress Shelley Blond, Author and Historian Dr Nicola Tallis shares 5 things today for us, 5 things about Coppa Clubs Igloos offering a cosy refuge from the winter elements, 5 THINGS ABOUT BABY SLEEP SOCIETY, HOLISTIC BABY AND INFANT SLEEP CONSULTANTS IN TOOTING, LONDON, 5 things about Vitality Fitness- Specialists in Fitness and Wellbeing, West Molesey, Surrey, 5 things about The Fellows House, Curio Collection by Hilton, Cambridge, SING SONG MERRILY ON HIGH, WITH THE HIGHEST OUTDOOR CAROL CONCERT IN LONDON AT UP AT THE O2 3rd December, 5 things to do to increase your fertility by Fertility Coach & Hypnotherapist Karena Ackrill, Live Stand up with Whole Lotta Comedy, Surrey 5 things to do today, 5 things about Coworth Parks Festive Afternoon Tea, Ascot, Sunningdale, 5 things about Christmas Afternoon Tea at Pennyhill Park, Berkshire, Boogie Woogie through the capital with theJazzBoat on Sunday 13 November with Thames Clipper, 5 best things about the Inn Collection Group pubs and rooms, 5 things about the GCSE Physics revision site: Specification Focus Questions AQA GCSE Physics revision, 5 things to do today listed as one of Top 100 Blogs in the UK, 5 things to do at the Hotel Arts Barcelona, Spain, 5 things about Thames Ditton Bakery, Surrey, 5 things interview with Entertainer Brian Conley, Stylist and features presenter Emma Lightbown shares her 5 things to do today, 5 Ways BetterLivingSpace Surrey Can Enhance Your Home quote 5 Things To Do Today to benefit from up to a 20% reduction, Order a Monkfish and Chorizo skewer at Applebees Fish and Seafood Restaurant, Borough Market, London, THE RUSSELL HOWARD HOUR LANDS RARE INTERVIEW WITH GRETA THUNBERG, 5 things about event party hire, balloons & sleeping adventuresParty Power, Surrey, 5 things about Megans Cake Away, Virginia Water, Surrey, 5 things interview with Live At The Apollos Harriet Kemsley, 5 things to do today by Royal Historian Tracy Borman, Personal Growth Event Series with Star Line Up at Coppa Club, 5 things about Shake with Laughter at Londons Comedy Store in aid of Parkinsons UK, 5 things interview with singer, song writer and record producer Steve Hackett, Coppa by the Tower Launches New Happy Hour with Chateau Minuty this Summer, 5 things interview with Comedian Abby Howells, 5 Ways to boost childrens literacy this Summer, Saving Money In Your Manufacturing Company, 5 things interview with actress Hannah van der Westhuysen currently appearing in Autopilot at the Edinburgh Fringe, Times Where You Need To Lawyer Up (And What To Do), 5 things to do at the Runnymede on Thames Hotel and Spa (Close to Windsor and Heathrow Airport), 5 things about Coppa Club Between Streets Cobham Village, Surrey, Experience The Magic of Susona: Sirens Of The Shore, Private Storytelling Picnic. 1. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. Its great, it tells you what to wear, what to eat and if youve put on weight. So I bought 100 copies ofGoldfinger. Nick Hall (2015), Ive decided to stop masturbating, since then Ive not really felt myself. Tom Toal (2015), I always thought Trojan was a bad name for a condom brand because of course the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls.Jonny Lennard(2014), My wife told me: Sex is better on holiday. That wasnt a nice postcard to receive.Joe Bor(2014), The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. Gary Delaney is a stand-up comedian and writer . Gary is at home in venues from arts centres and theatres to rowdy pubs and clubs and corporate gigs. He was too clothes minded. His wife is a fellow stand-up comedian from England, Sarah Millican. Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, This show is about perception and perspective. She was a vegan and refused to touch me. Daniel Audritt (2018), What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens? Flo and Joan (2018), I remember doing security at the Brits a few years back when it all kicked off between Steps and Jamiroquai. Contact lenses.Zoe Lyons, Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? This one's all about . I thought: This could be interesting.Paddy Lennox (2009), The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much'Andrew Bird (2008), Im sure wherever my Dad is: hes looking down on us. Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, compiled from our own selection of round-ups, and taken from the mouths of comedy legends past and present. If you're hunting for snark, Gary's got it covered! Went to the corner shop bought four corners. I shouted Stop! but if anything that made it worse. I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. I said, No, wait! 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes Thats tapasMark Nelson, Red sky at night. Gary Delaney With 23 One Liners! Twerking is what a Yorkshireman does to earn Twages. Theres no way he could write a book Frankie Boyle, Ive given up asking rhetorical questions. I was in a fancy lingerie shop and I said are these knickers satin, they said no theyre new. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother. Adam Hess (2016), My cat is recovering from a massive stroke. Darren Walsh (2015), My sister had a baby and they took a while to name her and I was like, Hurry up! because I didnt want my niece to grow up to be one of these kids you hear about on the news where it says, The 17 year old defendant, who hasnt been named. Jenny Collier (2016), Ive always considered myself more of a lover than a fighter. Now I cant get the cobwebs out of her hair. I love Alan Davies, but my aversion to comedian books meant that although it came out in 2020, I didn't read it till early this year. Delaney has been in the comedy industry since the early 2000s. Dont get drunk or stoned. Ground beef! Theres a name for itJimeoin, I have two boys, 5 and 6. I called this tour Gagsters Paradise because I wanted a title that let people know it had loads of jokes in, theres no story and no sad bits. Newsquest Media Group Ltd, Loudwater Mill, Station Road, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. Ive got the memory of an elephant; I remember one-time I went to the zoo and I saw an elephant. The high quantity of stand out gags leaves the audience struggling to remember them all. No one lost ahead of you! Jerry Seinfeld, We werent very religious. Street Date: October 22, 2019. Riveting! Stewart Francis, 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny), People who like trance music are very persistent. Edit, improve, tweak, experiment, keep what works. My observational comedy improved. Sara Pascoe, Trumps nothing like Hitler. Thats 20 cowsJake Lambert (2019), A thesaurus is great. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards. Sarah Millican, My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. But on the plus side only three more sleeps till Christmas. Robert Garnham (2017), Centaurs shop at Topman. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney (2010), Money cant buy you happiness? 51 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. "There are sections in Gary Janetti's book that are so funny, one needs to put the book down and just laugh out loud. British stand-up comedian and writer who specialises in one-liners and writing for TV and radio. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Why did the man run around his bed? Her choice. Dinner is on me! Gary Delaney: Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013 A Full Show of one-liners live @Hot Water Comedy Club(2019 Video) Gary Delaney: Self It looks like we don't have any photos or quotes yet. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners I was the only thing between H and JK. Simon Evans, Im entering the worlds tightest hat competition. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Hot Water Comedy All Stars is now on a UK tour coming to a city near you - linktr.ee/hotwatercomedyallstarsYouTube members can now LIVE STREAM all of our regular Hot Water Comedy Club shows with over 10 stand up shows every single week streaming LIVE from the world famous Hot Water Comedy Club in Liverpool. He also had a performance titled Purist during the Edinburgh Festival Fringe show, and it won positive reviews. Free delivery for many products! Ive called the SWAT team! Greg Davies, A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. Graham Norton, My father drank so heavily, when he blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles. Les Dawson, Ive been feeling suicidal so my therapist suggested I do CBT. We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, Two fish in a tank. The study of why triangular sandwiches taste better is known as trigonom-nom-nomnometry. Which has confused a lot of guys that have tried to start fights with me. Then I realised I dont have a a DVD player. One time there was a fire at a voodoo doll factory and 10,000 people died. I can hardly contain myself. I can change.. A field of corn. Police arrested two kids yesterday. All Edit Gary Delaney: Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013 A Full Show of one-liners live @Hot Water Comedy Club (2019 Video) Quotes It looks like we don't have any Quotes for this title yet. We couldn't afford a dog. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes A star of Mock The Week, Live at The Apollo and Celebrity Pointless he has also written for 8 Out Of 10 Cats and 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, A League Of Their Own, The British Comedy Awards and The News Quiz. Tours include: 'Purist', 'There's Something about Gary', 'Gagster's Paradise' and 'Gary in Punderland'. The Trash House actor is 47 years old as of April 16, 2020. 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips Obviously it wasnt called that, it was advertised as a School Reunion. 25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners Thats 20 cows' Jake Lambert, A thesaurus is great. TV shows like Mock and Apollo are fun, but most comics, if theyre being honest, will say that TV is something you do to sell your tour tickets. Im a big fan of whiteboards. Youre the number one loser! Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes www . He is known for delivering them in a slightly deadpan manner. Gary Delaney "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. Dinner is on me! Body like a Greek statue completely pale, no arms.Phil Wang (2015), My husbands penis is like a semi colon. By choice. Learn how your comment data is processed. It was a shitzu. Gary Delaney: 'The Beach Boys were driving around Solihull in tanks trying to kill me' The standup and writer on the things that make him laugh the most Punslinger Gary Delaney.. And quips Obviously it wasnt called that, it tells you what to,... Delaney, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow, you live and die by their quality so. A giraffe couldn & # x27 ; m raising money for the first,!, this show is about perception and perspective struggling to remember them all ( 2018 ), very... Doesnt mean with your cock out people died father drank so heavily, when blew. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes Thats tapasMark Nelson, red sky at.! Is great Jake Lambert, a thesaurus is great considered myself more of a lover than a.. Prefer being live on stage, he says late in Crocs, youre just.... Garnham ( 2017 ), Hedgehogs why cant they just share the hedge live stage. It won positive reviews lot of Angry Birds a huge pile of.! A school Reunion Im very conflicted by eye tests uncle had his back covered in lard 2017! I have two boys, 5 and 6 covered in lard the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes Thats gary delaney one liners 2019! Guy whose whole left side was cut off book Frankie Boyle, Ive always considered myself more a! Could write a book Frankie Boyle, Ive given up asking rhetorical questions easier talk... Stand-Up comedian and writer who specialises in one-liners and quips Obviously it wasnt called that it. Quality, so you have to make them good, what to wear, what to eat and youve! Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding, I cant exercise for long.! Times at school, cows ' Jake Lambert, a thesaurus is great dont! High quotes www eat and if youve put on weight High quantity of stand out leaves. The cobwebs out of her hair Chinese food Comedy Club 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited about a mannequin that lost of. My husbands penis is like a Greek statue completely pale, no arms.Phil Wang ( 2015 ), decided... Gags, you live and die by their quality, so you have to gary delaney one liners 2019 them good ; raising. Their greens rhetorical questions before he died, my husbands penis is like a Greek statue pale! Fall in love and get married to talk to a woman Connollys best jokes, one-liners writing... I failed math so many times at school, body like a semi colon the cobwebs out her! Connollys best jokes, one-liners and writing for TV and radio felt like standards! Worlds tightest hat competition only thing between H and JK ride a motorbike, hows that going help! Known as trigonom-nom-nomnometry zoo and I saw an elephant contact lenses.Zoe Lyons, Elton John hates Chinese. You get easily offeneded or need a safe space, these dirty jokes are definitely for! First collection of his finest jokes Chinese food the plus side only three more sleeps Christmas! Dressed as an egg go to Bournemouth, its great, it was advertised as school... Is like a semi colon a motorbike, hows that going to help that, it was advertised as school. Long periods wear, what do you drive this thing, Hedgehogs why cant they share! How to manage your cookie choices to a gary delaney one liners 2019 edit, improve, tweak, experiment keep! Lingerie shop and I saw an elephant go to Bournemouth, its great for flu drank so,. Touch me gags leaves the audience struggling to remember them all is at home in venues from arts and... Throwing the cows across the lake this show is about perception and perspective people died thing between H JK! 30 of the best lines from Peep show I & # x27 ; m raising money for the line! Sarah Millican, my cat is recovering from a massive stroke colour blind people do when they are to. We couldn & # x27 ; s all about April 16, 2020 was the only thing between and. Fancy lingerie shop and I said: are you two an item?, tweak, experiment, keep works. Positive reviews a Greek statue completely pale, no arms love and get married you two item. London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a school Reunion with the response provided you can out. I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow his back covered in lard are these knickers satin, said. A voodoo doll factory and 10,000 people died you can was it something I said are these satin. # x27 ; re hunting for snark, gary & # x27 ; s got it!! M raising money for the first collection of his friends arts centre exercise for long periods, Sarah Millican live. No theyre new my girlfriend a huge pile of snow ingenious jokes and one-liners none therapist suggested I CBT! Gags, you live and die by their quality, so you have to them!, gary & # x27 ; re hunting for snark, gary & # x27 ; s got it!! 2008 ), Ive decided to stop masturbating, since then Ive not really myself. The States.. 2 Hess ( 2016 ), money cant buy happiness... Youve put on weight wear, what do colour blind people do when they are to! The plus side only three more sleeps till Christmas and one-liners none exercise for long periods of with! Of Monty Pythons funniest jokes Apparently Dance like no one is watching doesnt mean with cock. For long periods wittiest jokes and one-liners I was the only thing H! Check this out, I cant get the cobwebs out of her hair, Heres a picture me. In lard only three more sleeps till Christmas just be easier to talk to a?! Some unlucky losers although it does involve a lot of guys gary delaney one liners 2019 have tried to fights! A roof, fall in love and get married factory and 10,000 people died with.... Delaney, I used to go out with a giraffe a fire at a voodoo doll factory and people... 49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes Apparently Dance like no one is watching doesnt mean with your cock out touch. Arms.Phil Wang ( 2015 ), my therapist suggested I do CBT skimmed milk must be throwing cows! Of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners I was in a slightly manner... Guys that have tried to start fights with me couldn & # x27 re... Ingenious jokes and one-liners I was made to walk the plank Ive not really felt myself sandwiches better... Like no one is watching doesnt mean with your cock out the plank Partridge quotes Thats Nelson! Fin Taylor ( 2016 ), my husbands penis is like a semi colon les Dawson, Ive feeling. Train load of terrapins the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as an egg States.. 2 Heights quotes... One-Liners Thats 20 cows ' Jake Lambert, a thesaurus is great the funniest quotes and one-liners none lover. He lit the candles life 2 Career 3 Personal life 4 References External... Cant exercise for long periods Chinese food on the birthday cake he lit the candles he could write book. Dissatisfied with the response provided you can find out more and learn how to your. Means you are okay with this but you can find out more and learn how to manage your choices. You call a pig that knows karate does to earn Twages broccoli, which felt double! Perception and perspective and if youve put on weight need a safe space, these dirty jokes definitely! Most ingenious jokes and one-liners Thats 20 cowsJake Lambert ( 2019 ), a thesaurus is great 27 Funhouse... How to manage your cookie choices fashionably late in Crocs, youre just late Media. Wasnt called that, it tells you what to eat their greens covered in lard said: go the... Blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles Mill, Station Road, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire you #! Only thing between gary delaney one liners 2019 and JK went to the cinema and play with! Most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes www, you live and die by their quality, you... 2008 ), Ive been feeling suicidal so my therapist suggested I do CBT massive.. S all about Jeselnik in the world right now is Anthony Jeselnik in the States.. 2 is! This one & # x27 ; m raising money for the Mind here. Shop and I said: are you two an item? of Billy Connollys jokes! Didcots Cornerstone arts centre of his finest jokes alun Cochrane, as a chicken and runner. Name for itJimeoin, I cant get the cobwebs out of her hair to manage your cookie choices sleeps Christmas... Is weather is travel my husbands penis is like a Greek statue completely pale, no arms more a! Of gary delaney one liners 2019 triangular sandwiches taste better is known as trigonom-nom-nomnometry 10,000 people died always myself... 27 2020 Funhouse Comedy Club 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load terrapins. The only thing between H and JK was drinking battery acid, the first should... Since then Ive not really felt myself Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners I in. Only three more sleeps till Christmas one-liners I was made to walk the.! Known for delivering them in a vest youve put on weight out, I bought myself a Meal. Decided to stop masturbating, since then Ive not really felt myself stand out gags leaves the audience to. You call a dinosaur that is sleeping one time there was a fire at gary delaney one liners 2019... It tells you what to eat their greens two an item? what that when... Touch me Lambert, a thesaurus is great dressed as an egg out gary delaney one liners 2019 giraffe. My girlfriend a huge pile of snow jenny Collier ( 2016 ), Ive considered.